


Definitely Not A Leo

by TesIsAMess



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Connor puts up with him, Crack, Formatted like a mobile phone, Gavin is dumb, Gen, Horoscopes, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25209454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TesIsAMess/pseuds/TesIsAMess
Summary: > thatd make you a leo and your definitely not a leo> Ah. You're talking about zodiac signs. I don't ascribe to them myself, but I've heard that some androids like to use their deviation date.> thats so fucking dumb-Or Gavin takes star signs too seriously for someone who knows so little. It's a chat crack fic!
Relationships: Connor & Gavin Reed
Comments: 9
Kudos: 44





	Definitely Not A Leo

**Author's Note:**

> Of course my first fic is crack. Inspired by when New ERA Discord went off assigning every character MBTI types and I was nervously laughing in mod - love y'all, keep doing you
> 
> Oh also please make sure that Creator's Style is on! The fic should look like a phone with text bubbles and such

New message from  Dabin Weed .  
  
**Today** 11:27 PM  
Gavin: yo con  
  
Gavin: when were you made?  
  
Connor: Hello, Gavin.  
  
Connor: That depends on what you mean by ‘made’. I was in development for two years before I was activated, then I went through rigorous field testing before being released for my first mission in August.  
  
Gavin: what day in august?  
  
Connor: 15th.  
  
Gavin: hmm no thats not right  
  
Connor: Excuse me?  
  
Gavin: thatd make you a leo  
  
Gavin: and your definitely not a leo  
  
Connor: Ah. You're talking about zodiac signs. I don't ascribe to them myself, but I've heard that some androids like to use their deviation date.  
  
Gavin: thats so fucking dumb  
  
Connor: How so?  
  
Gavin: the revolution shit when you amassed your army  
  
Connor: Not an army.  
  
Gavin: that was like early november right?  
  
Gavin: your whole god damn army of like 1 million droids would be scorpios  
  
Gavin: you gonna stand there and advocate for your humanity when 90% of you have the same fucking personality??  
  
Connor: That's not how horoscopes work, Gavin. If that were the case then the human population would solely comprise of twelve personalities.  
  
Gavin: its actually 16 you uneducated prick  
  
Gavin: but im not about to get into motherfucking mbti with someone who cant even understand horoscopes  
  
Connor: Hank is telling you to “shut the fuck up about that astrology bullshit."  
  
Gavin: of course your a snitch  
  
Gavin: ok first off  
  
Gavin: if hank wants to go he can fucking go  
  
Gavin: dont hide behind terminator old man  
  
Gavin: second  
  
Gavin: he knows the only reason hes lieutenant is cause hes a virgo  
  
Connor: Please explain.  
  
Gavin: hes all analytical and methodical and shit  
  
Gavin: but like innately  
  
Gavin: didnt have to work on it like the rest of us  
  
Connor: Gavin, that is simply untrue.  
  
Gavin: yeah like you know anything  
  
Connor: I have the entirety of the internet at my disposal.  
  
Gavin: but you don’t know what to look for without knowing to look for it  
  
Gavin: look  
  
Gavin: let me send you some videos that explain this shit  
  
Connor: I’m alright, thank you.  
  
Gavin: fine whatever you already gave me the info i needed  
  
Gavin: but your still not a leo  
  
Connor: Then what zodiac sign would you ascribe to me?  
  
Gavin: hmmm  
  
Gavin: one sec lemme think  
  
Gavin: aquarius?  
  
Gavin: wait no  
  
Gavin: capricorn  
  
Gavin: yeah  
  
Gavin: cause your a condescending know it all  
  
Connor: You’re*  
  
Gavin: exactly thank you for proving my point  
  
Connor: Connor Model #313 248 317 - 01 was activated for field testing on January 1st 2038.  
  
Gavin: those words me nothing to me but ha!  
  
Gavin: i knew your a fucking capricorn  
  
Gavin: you're*  
  
Gavin: fuck off  
  
Connor: I didn’t say anything.  
  
Gavin: yeah but I could feel you judging me  
  
Connor: You’ve used the incorrect version of your/you’re 573 times in the entirety of our chat history. I only brought it up now for comedic effect, but it seems I missed the mark. Apologies if I made you insecure. Would you like me to send you grammar resources?  
  
Gavin: FUCK  
  
Gavin: OFF  
  
Gavin: this is exactly what i meant you goddamn capricorn get off my dick  
  
Connor: Is the sign meant to be taken as an insult now?  
  
Gavin: it’s whatever i want it to be  
  
Connor: Gavin, you’re born on October 7th. That makes you a Libra.  
  
Gavin: im not even gonna ask how you know that you robocreep  
  
Gavin: but yeah  
  
Gavin: whats youre point?  
  
Connor: It says online that Libras like to avoid conflict. This isn’t very Libra of you, Gavin.  
  
Gavin: shut the fuck up  
  
Gavin: you dont know me  
  
Connor: It says you should like harmony, gentleness, sharing with others, the outdoors. And that you should dislike violence, injustice, loudmouths, and conformity. Something isn’t adding up here.  
  
Gavin: just because i like to shove you around doesn’t mean im a violent person  
  
Gavin: im just putting you in your place  
  
Gavin: which is on the floor  
  
Gavin: don’t take that out of context  
  
Connor: I wouldn’t dream of it.  
  
Gavin: theres the judgement again  
  
Gavin: you know what  
  
Gavin: im gonna be the big guy here  
  
Gavin: gonna be the motherfucking LIBRA that i am  
  
Gavin: and end the discourse here  
  
Gavin: fuck you  
  
You can no longer send messages to this person. **Learn more.**  


**Author's Note:**

> A huge thank you to [How to Make iOS Text Messages on AO3](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6434845/chapters/14729722) by [La_Temperanza](https://archiveofourown.org/users/La_Temperanza/pseuds/La_Temperanza), which was the very comprehensive guide I followed to achieve the formatting on this fic.
> 
> Join us over at the [Detroit: New ERA Discord!](https://discord.gg/GqvNzUm) I wouldn't have even thought about writing this short little ditty without them.
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter [@Tes_273](https://twitter.com/Tes_273) where I mostly draw D:BH crack comics.


End file.
